i'm sick of everything. i'm 20 pounds underweight i can never gain a pound. my friends all left me in a matter of a week, the only thing that made me happy is gone forever. i just wan't to end it the suicidal thoughts are too much. everything is my fault now, i don't even know why i asked for a sibling. i tried coming out to my mom as lesbian but she's homophobic and i had to tell her it was a joke. i'm a freak, disappointment, loser, phone addict and a horrible sibling. i go on my phone so much because it distracts me from reality, why? reality sucks. my mom can't accept the fact i have ADD and a sleeping disorder. i'm never good enough. everything was fine but it has been ONE month now everything is gone, my cat died, my friends left, my parents hate me, I've lost way too much weight, now you may think i'm lucky.. but imagine eating so much food and not gaining a pound but just losing weight, no. skinny bones, they say, do you even eat? they say, you literally a stick. now if i said someone was a hippo it would be fat shaming, right? same thing for calling me a stick. ik it sounds stupid. my cheeks hurt from this fake smile i put on because i just have to live up to the expectations of my toxic mother, i apologize for saying a lot, please forgive me for my rambling.

2 years ago

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