When will the thoughts stop? I want it to stop. Please make it stop. Why won't it go away? Please make it go away. Oh the million and million of reasons on why not to be alive. When will I stop saying I want to die? When will it be the last time I crunch my blanket into a ball to create a human being form to cry on, to hug on, to make me feel like there's someone there for me hugging me back. Happiness where do you find that? happiness is a normal emotion? people can actually feel that and not have any suicidal thoughts racing in the back of their head? How? How? The voices scream please grab that razor blade and press it against your skin and make sure you cut so deep that you bleed out. Maybe I want to use a rope suffocate myself just like how my mind suffocates me everyday. I absolutely hate myself. Everything about myself. Will I ever just love myself? I want to scream so much everyday, because my mind does not get a rest. I take my hands and pull my hair while rocking back and forth on the floor begging for the pain to stop every single day. I don't ever know when the pain will truly stop. When will it stop? please make it stop. I am so tired, and drained. The only way I know how to put an end to this madness is to truly just end it. I wonder when I will kill my self. I tried so many times I have lost count. When will I succeed on ending this pain once and for all. I will soon succeed and I hope nobody finds me selfish I hope everyone understands that I was suffering for too long and needed to be free. I hope they are happy that finally my mind goes to rest. Please make it stop. Please make it go away.

1 year ago

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