my pov. 4/5/2021. sometimes, i just wish you could look at things from my pov. if there was a space in your heart to see how yelling, fussing, and taking your anger out on me hurts me. that’s why i cry. it’s not fair how i have to respect you, so i can never express my feelings at all. whenever i do, it’s disrespect or you switch it, and make it about you. for instance. you didn’t offer me anything to eat. you switched it and said “i would never do that to you…” and you ignored completely how you hurt me. you yelled at me. all day ever since i wanted to do the vanity. it’s not fair. ever. it makes me feel like you don’t care. you don’t care about my feelings, ad you don’t care how your words hurt me. it’s not fair. i can never express my feelings to anyone, because then they’re gonna tell you, then you fuss at me. there shouldn’t be a doubt in my mind that you care about my feelings or my mental being. but there is. and if you’re reading this since you checked my notes, then i’m sorry if i’m being disrespectful. this is the only way i can release my feelings, without being disrespectful with my words. i just feel like you don’t care. you don’t care and you never will. the only times i feel like you care is if you’re in a good mood. since you have things going on right now, i think you’re taking out your anger on me. i’m still young, and words hurt. words definitely do hurt. you yelling. you fussing. you telling me i have no reason to cry. that hurts. if i can’t cry to express my emotion or expressing my emotions is disrespectful, then what else am i supposed to do? do i bottle them up inside? i guess so. now i have to put on this fake smile, so that i don’t have an “attitude” or i’m not messing up your mood because of my “attitude”. on my pov, i’m expressing how i feel. when i’m angry, i sit in my room, to be alone. when i’m upset or when your words hurt me, i cry. this is just me, telling you how i feel. i’m not trying to be disrespectful. i honestly do respect you as my mother. i just want there to be a day where you care about how i feel. give me a day to express to you how i feel. you tell me all the time that you’re here if i wanna talk. but when i finally express it, it’s disrespect. i may not be the perfect child. i mess up. but please. just remember that words hurt. and please be mindful of how what you say hurts e, and not just how it made you angry. through all this, i still find it in my heart to love you. it’s never fair to me. just please. one day. please realize how this hurts me. just one day, see things from my pov.