I'm very manipulative and toxic. I've learnt from those around me and because it was all I knew I started to adapt and use it. I know I am because I know how to keep someone around. I don't take responsibility for my actions. I know I don't. I don't plan on fixing this issue because I know I'll only end up coming back to it. It's something that's never going to change about me. I know I'm a shitty persona and a friend. I don't need anyone to tell me that. And even if I did want to change it wouldn't work as I've already tried. I've tried so much, yet every time I did, I just kept failing. I'm so rude and mean to the people I care most about too. I don't have limits. I never know when to stop or when I go too far with something. I keep hurting those I care most about. And of course, I tried to change but it just won't work. I need to go blow my nose lmao. I was crying earlier because I was thinking about a situation were I let my feelings get the better of me and I really ruined something that was the most important thing to me. It happened half a year ago yet I cry as if its the moment after I just did it. Anyway- Yeah- I don't really have much to say now. I come to this website a lot. I find it helps.
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