Psychopath?

I sometimes feel like a psycho let me explain why. So growing up I grew up around drugs and Abuse my mother would bring him guys and have sex, My dad was a drinker and just had sex with my mom and leave that's how I grew up until I turned 11 I went to foster care the people I was with the daughters were disgusting they touch me kiss me in two different homes I found myself wanting to just hit them like my mom hit me, anyway Yes a bad past I had. I killed a bird for the first time in my life well there was 5 of my friends I was looking at the bird and my older friend he stabbed it and laughed and the other friend cut its head of and I tagged along I didn't regret it or feel sad about it I threw it around and played with the head we all laughed the second bird was 3 baby birds my friend gave one to me and my other friend she drowned her baby bird and I did too the 3 third baby the bot threw his around, the 3rd bird was me I stepped on it and stabbed it then cut it apart I ended up naming it Bobby a funeral was held 💀. That's for thr birds ive killed thr second part of me of a psycho is I like horror movies and like death scenes for example i feel like I wanna what the guy did in the movie "spree" he live streams deaths it's cool. I also like playing with knifes I got skills from playing around with knifes alot now to me there is "perfect" or "ugly" knifes. The 3rd part of a psycho in Me is probably I watch gore alot I've seen beheadings children suicide accidents I don't like cartel it's gross for me to watch. Hm i like the idea of something I'm not gonna say but I sometimes think of killing my family or just a random person or who people I like like a yandere or some shit. I also tend to lie alot I'm good at that or making up things kidnapping is also something I have in mind but I hate myself for thinking all this but it can be called "intrusive" right?. For a murder I know what to do I've watched a bunch of things and tips.