I’m terrible at asking for help. Even with my family. I think I’m just bad at getting to the surface. I just keep going in deeper and deeper, until I don’t know where I am. Every day there’s something new I swear. Depression, exhaustion, anxiety, like I need a break even when I haven’t done anything. I just don’t know what to do any more. I’m lost and I don’t know why. I’ve done everything thing to try and help it, or stop it, but it just keeps getting worse. I’ve never felt as out of control as I do know. Usually people would say that to the covid situation, but it’s not that. I feel bad saying it but I don’t feel bad for anything that’s going on with covid. Quarantine, all the deaths, it just doesn’t make me feel bad. Yet my mental state has gotten nothing but worse. For example I hate to say it but I’ve written a note, “The” note if you wanna put it that way. To put it in the simplistic way, I’ve wanted to and full well thought about it. Maybe it’s just something in the back of my mind speaking but every breath just feels like a waste on me. Lowkey thinkin about ending it all. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. 😗✌️

1 year ago

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