flood of emotions...hard to decide which one is hurting more

When I thought finally it is going to end…I smiled ..but I guess it was not the time …it was not the end…and there it was another drop of tears …it shattered ..i was broken again. The assembled piece were again scattered …I guess it was just a chapter in the pain of life…now the other begins ….. I had a choice of ending it there..killing that’s what they call it…but I guess I was a coward not to do so …so here I go …carrying a luggage of emotions..bending me down…no more held ur heads was my definition….i had no choice then to see people insulting and pointing fingers at me.. I failed my parents….i took every right my sister should hv got .…. and they say im over reacting .. There is a flood of pain travelling in my veins I can hear its voice…hard to compete which one hurts the most…. Love friends family career I failed in every single term mentioned in the book…and they say be strong..and how am I suppose to do that… The impression build for years has now become a fading story ..with just a failure….. Whats next is something I don’t want to face …I wanna close my eyes just want to escape….. Yes I need a shoulders to cry to let my emotions out but trust is something I cant do …and here I stay alone..turning to the next chapter …. There are stars around the universe….seems bright colourfull to th people on the planet but the more u move close the more it appears broken…. The fire the star is facing has started to push people away … It was always a lie that light wins over darkness it was always the way to mask the reality …its always the darkness who wins..no matter how much u smile….it will be covered by the daknesss...and u will be always left to face it alone …broken as hell… U will need to cry…but u wont be able to do like u heart has been captured in metal chains of impressions ,emotion,society …no matter how hard we scream that they are not Important…but deep it always remains messed up