I don’t want to work. I don’t want to go to college, but I ain’t got shit for control ever. The thought of waking up early, doing long hours of just working and studying fucks me up. If only I could just end myself and just die in peace, then I wouldn’t have to suffer this no more. I’m religious, but I’m a terrible one; I cannot uphold the responsibilities I’m supposed to do and it makes me feel even more shittier. If only I had drowned in that pool as a kid, then I wouldn’t have to deal with this so called gift of life anymore. I feel it is inevitable I’m going to hell, I just can’t change. I wish I lived as a different person
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