For this school year, I kind of completely fell apart. I didn’t do well on tests, didn’t turn in my homework, I had completely lost motivation to do things. I knew that there would be consequences of doing so, but they haven’t really hit me until well, one day before school is going to end. Now, I have horrible grades that I know I brought into myself, and that my parents are insanely disappointed. I have an AP exam tomorrow that I haven’t fully prepared for, and I have a lot of overdue assignments that I still need to turn in. My parents have been trying to help me throughout this entire year, and I am so grateful for that, but I couldn’t actually do as they suggested. I have constantly told them that I am going to try, and I did, but only for a short period of time. Now that I understand what the consequences of giving up are, I know that I have to do better, starting over the summer. I want to fix my grades, but I don’t want to ask them for something that I don’t deserve, especially considering how I would’ve hated if I had a student like myself this year. Normal,y, I try but COVID-19 had taken a toll on my mental well-being, and resulted in me losing all my motivation. I want to do better, but I know that my parents probably don’t have hope for me anymore, considering that I’ve disappointed them so many times. I don’t know what to do now, I want to do well, but I can’t seem to focus. I also need to talk to my parents about it, since they deserve an explanation after helping me so much, but I can’t open up to them and instead I’m typing my thoughts out on an anonymous ranting website. These last few days, I haven’t been able to go by without experiencing a wave of sadness or a few panic attacks because I feel so bad about this entire situation.
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