Im tired and i feel bad for even thinking about this I promised myself a long time ago I would protect and watch over them but I feel like I'm running out of energy. I'm draining myself more and more and I'm practically a car with no gas getting pushed through life. It's hard every day even when I relax I can't help but feel sad over my fate. My dad was an abusive asshole and I lived in poverty with my siblings and single mom. My friends either left me or I left them because I have a hard time forming connections. Either that or they tried to make advances on me by touching me and trying to gain my love in manipulative ways. However, everything was doing alright.... and I only had my past demons to fight but now my sisters were diagnosed with a genetic disease and I'm 19 in college enrolled full time and work full time as well. Im expected to be the sole provider very soon as my mom cant find any work... Im terrified out of my mind and I can't help but think what if I fail? what if I'm not good enough ? or strong enough? how will I be able to tell them or face myself again? I feel so lost and I get scared of every small decision I make. I hardly eat or sleep.... i just want to sleep forever but I can't because I care too much.

2 years ago

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