a few years ago on new years morning, i was sleeping at my nanas. my aunty and uncle from overseas came down. i loved them, all my cousins , my siblings absolutely loved them especially my uncle because he was so kickback and cool. my nana needed help so my sister and i had been sleeping a few days leading to new years to help her get up in the morning and to the toilet. my uncle would go for a walk every morning and be awake around the same time as us or even before. if it was before he'd come and jump on my sister and i while we were sleeping to wake us up and we'd laugh so hard because he was so heavy lol. my sister slept by nana and i slept in my cousins room. meanwhile my cousins and their parents that owned that house were on holiday, hence why me and my sister slept over. one morning my uncle jumped on me and i was lying on my belly and he started touching my hair moving it from my face and i didn't think anything of it. new years eve comes, we do our countdown and hug everyone and then eat. i fell asleep in my uncle and aunty's room (the ones that were on holiday) which was in the back, away from everyone else's room. i woke up to heavy, hot breathing, coming down onto my face, down my neck. i could feel someone humping me, like literally being half-awake i wasnt fully aware of what was going on. until i fully opened my eyes just to see my uncle, my own uncle. he tried to kiss me and as i moved he kept trying . struggling to move, i felt as if my body was paralysed and in that moment i was terrified. a whole ass grown man on top of me, and i was trying get out from underneath. i looked at him, and it was as if something had overcome him, as if he had been possessed he had no emotions to me as i was struggled to move. my cries for help were silent. his hands above my head, one hand slowly came down to my breasts trying to grab them and as i tried moving his hand and moving my face i couldn't believe this was real. what the actual fuck is going on?! his hand was coming down to my dress, and thank god i was wearing pants. i dont even know how long it went on for , but i know that after he just got up opened the door and walked out , and out through the back door to do his "daily walk" i laid there , i didn't move one bit i heard him come back and i immediately went and sat outside the front of the house, in fear he would come to me again. i sat outside to my sister was calling for me. i was mute that same day, we planned to go to the beach. my dad came to pick my sister and i up, and my dad asked my uncle to come. he said yes, how? how could you say yes after what you just did to me? i refused to go into the car and my dad was getting upset , i told him i will go with my cousins. the next day i was meant to sleep over my nanas , him being there aswell. i couldn't go back, i just couldn't i opened up and told my older sister, i felt a sense of relief but was scared at the same time. she told "you have to tell mum and dad", how could i tell them that especially my mum "your sisters husband just molested?" anyways skip to that night my sister made sure it was only us at the house and my dad i told my dad and couldn't help but cry, could i have prevented it ? was there anything i could've done? my dad was mad ofc, and told me i had to tell my mum my mum got home and i told her, she didn't believe me she didn't believe that a man like that could do something like this. she said why didn't i tell my aunty after it happened since we were in the same house. anyways since that incident, there are nights where i can't sleep and i re-live that day over and over again. its suffocating. hence my attitude towards my parents how can you let that mans face be shown to me ? you think just because times passed, that my wounds are fully healed? no words can express , how much despise my parents for that. they let him stay in the family, i get no apology no heartfelt sincere sorry but i have to sit here and see that face. to make things better, my parents haven't even asked me how i am, if im okay, nothing i have to go on with my life, barely, staying strong dont let my emotions get the best of me so i don't break down. its just so tiring, it makes you want to leave. im tired of being okay, with them accepting this. im tired of trying to laugh and smile everyday just so i dont get upset. because in all truthfulness , im mad, upset, disappointed at everyone and everything. everytime i catch an attitude that just sticks in my head. what do i do ?