I fucking miss him man . He was my everything and he left like I was nothing. After what we went through together he would leave it all behind as if I never meant anything. I miss it. I miss him . We would play Minecraft together constantly and would sleep on calls just to feel closer together. I would’ve flew across the world just to see you. But why , why do I miss him. He was awful to me , he would verbally abuse me and use me for my body then get mad when I post.? he would make me isolate myslef away from my friends and family to the point that I still struggle to speak to this day. He ruined me completely but I would still risk my life for him. everything is better without him but I just know if I had the chance for him to be here with me rn I would take it without thought. I know it wasn’t love but he made so happy , love shouldn’t ruin you like it did but I’d let him do it all over again. my anxiety rising every time someone hangs up on me cuz it makes me think their mad at me , he would do that , I would cry for hours on end because he knew that he was the only one I had back then , he was my only way to communicate, I would miss him to that point that I would cut myself until I bled out on my bathroom floor just so I could punish myself for potentially hurting him. It felt like it was always gonna be my fault . But in the end , I knew that it was for the best that he’s gone . I haven’t found someone yet and I’m not planning on too , but he was my everything I lost everyone for him just for him to leave. I’m better now , I’m doing better than I was before . it just feels like he took my heart and played with it like a football until it was all bruised and worn out , it was like I was a new barber doll for him just play with until he got bored again , then to go onto throwing me out . it feels horrible knowing that I tried my hardest and still wasn’t good enough . It feels like I’ll always love you but not the same way I used to. anyways I was WAYYYY outta his league tho like I could’ve done better let’s be honest here , I’m a goth girl with massive thighs and a pretty face tbf I don’t need a curly head ass mf with nipples the size of dinner plates PLEASE , he can take his fungal infected back somewhere else . Woman are better <3

2 years ago

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