TW Sorry it’s a bit long and English isn’t my first language so sorry if there are mistakes. When I was about 7 years old I went on holiday with my family to Belgium and we (my mum, dad, younger sister and older brother) stayed at my grandmothers house, and we all shared a room. It normally never bothered me, I was 7 so who was I to object to sharing a room with my family. At around 11pm that night my parents were downstairs talking to some people and my sister, brother and I were sleeping, well at least my sister and I were. I woke up that night all of a sudden to my brother kissing my on the lips. He had me pinned down and he was fulling making out with me in my sleep. When I woke up I panicked and I ran to the bathroom and in the morning I told my parents but they didn’t believe me ‘it was just a dream’, but I remember (srry if it’s tmi) that there was my brother’s saliva all over my mouth, it was far from being a dream. Flash forward 2 years, and my family and I had moved to france, and I’m not going to lie, I became extremely depressed due to this, but I hid it from my parents. Then one night at around 2am I woke up to someone in my room, that someone was my brother. I had also woken up because he was fingering me. I didn’t know what to do and so I lay there, paralyzed. This went on every few nights for about 4 years. I felt horrible during that time, I spent my days crying and having panick attacks, all while hiding it from my parents. When COVID hit and confinement arrose the ‘nightly visits’ from my brother increased to almost every night. I had finally cracked after all those years. I told my parents, they talked to my brother and he confessed. I then went to a psychologist and my parents assume that everything is good now. However I still can’t sleep without waking up every 30 minutes and when I finally do sleep for over 1hour I have nightmares that it happens again. A while back I told my mum that the root problem of my insomnia were the past events but she merely responded with “he said sorry, so why can’t you just forgive him?”. So now I say nothing. I cry almost every day again, and my panic/anxiety attacks have gone through the roof. So I wanted someone else’s opinion on this, I 100% am sure that he won’t do it again, but I’m scared, the question is am I making a deal out of nothing?

1 year ago

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