I'm in no way proud of this, but in the past i have emotionally scarred a couple of people through my previously toxic personality. Its been weighing heavy on my mind due to the nature of my behavior being more on the lust side, but nothing physical happened. This was all online like skype. Point is, I made these two feel emotional pain and or fear through my online interactions and I feel like shit to this day knowing that what i did was awful and not justifiable. Ive accepted i was a terrible person, but that does not reflect who i am today. I continued to return to them and apologize a few times but its just made things worse,but it still weighs on my mind and makes me fear the future. Not for my sake,but for those I've formed relationships with, my fiancèe, my family both biological and found. Knowing the internet as it is today, if even one of those two called me out, it would have been my actions that destroy everything i know right now. So I came here anonymously to wonder if the fact ive changed for the better allows me to be forgiven in others eyes , or if my shitty actions should condemn my plans for my future to death.

2 years ago

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