tw: mention of suicide, family issues Hi, i just want to know why some people have suicidal thoughts sometimes. I live in a okay home, I don’t really talk with my family. Sure, we’re blood related, but we don’t know anything about each other. When other people come to my house, I wonder if they think my family is weird or something since we don’t talk much like other families do. Abuse also takes a toll on my mental health. My parents hit me once because they were angry and that still has an effect on me today. My parents worry way too much on how they appear on the outside to others, and push aside the thought of just having fun, and being relaxed. They only talk to me about grades anyway, so I know they could care less about what i have to say about anything else. Anyways, sometimes I feel really suicidal, saying I should die. It’s not healthy, and I don’t know how much longer I would keep this up until I move out. I just want to share my experience and see if anyone else relates. I hope I move out soon, I’ll focus hard on studies, do the best I can, and push aside the thought of strengthening the bond with my family. School is also so stressful, why do we need school? Why do they hand us so much work? Why am i spending my life learning about subjects that will probably not help me in life. I’m so exhausted. When I’m 18, and packing my boxes up in my car to move out, will I feel a sense of joy? Please tell me yes. I wrote a future letter to myself too, it’ll be arrived on my 18th birthday. Will I be alive to answer that? Will I have a passion in life?
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