You are the hardest puzzle I've encountered in my life so far - I am very conflicted about my feelings towards you. I don't even know if I can trust them. After extensive observation, I've come to the conclusion that I have an intense need/want to be closer to you. The problem is that even though I want to tell you this, I fear coming off as obsessive and delusional and also potentially causing you unnecessary hardship. Two other factors are also at play. One being that you are a changed man. No longer the hurt and vulnerable one I first met. The void I helped fill has seemingly been overrun by an array of countless people around you which has made you more confident and expressive. You are free and thriving. And I am happy for that. Truly. As a result though, our personalities don't seem to mesh very well anymore. While it may be easy for you to move on with all the new and rediscovered people in your life, it isn't so easy for me. This brings me to the second factor. You entering my life has caused me to acknowledge a void I didn't know existed. By filling it and then leaving, I have acquired an intense sense of loss where every act of avoidance brings me right back to wanting your closeness once again. But I really can't tell you this can I. There's no way you won't be burdened by all this...

1 year ago

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