TLDR: I don't know if I should break up with my boyfriend. Okay so, this is kind of a lot. The reason I'm talking about it here is because I haven't found a new therapist yet (a work in progress), and I don't feel comfortable sharing this with any of my friends or family. Me and my boyfriend are long distance, and we've been together for almost 10 months. I'm 18, and he's 17. We have plans to see each other for the first time actually in July. We fell in love rather quickly, but it has been a very hard relationship. We get along really well, and it's never been awkward or anything. I have always felt like this was so right, he treats me really well, and I love him. We do, however, have a lot of trouble when it comes to conflict. Neither of us are good at arguing, and I have a lot of stuff I need to work on (with my new therapist) but we have always tried to work together and meet each other in the middle, and it's generally worked pretty well. From like March to the middle of May, things were REALLY good. We didn't fight, we loved on each other and spent as much time together ("together") as we could. And then it started to get really rocky. All of a sudden we were fighting everyday about anything and everything. And when we argue, it's not just like a little thing and then it's done. It turns into these huge explosive fights that last for hours. Neither of us were ignoring this, we talked about how we could assuage the nonstop fighting everyday, but nothing seemed to work, and I'll be honest, that was mostly my fault. I digress. A couple days ago, things started to calm down. We aren't fighting as much now, but ever since like May, things have felt so different. Like we are far away from each other (emotionally), and nothing feels right. He doesn't do any of the little things he used to do. I am an overthinker and take everything personally, but at some point, I'm not making this stuff up in my head anymore. He used to show he loved me in all sorts of ways, and when I would tell him one of my needs, he would meet it as best he could to make it clear he loved me. I felt so loved and cared for everyday, and I made sure he felt the same way. But he has stopped doing those things completely. I have to ask him to tell me I'm pretty, and he does it, but it's very clearly not the same. In every way possible, it feels like he does not care about me the way he used to. And I used to feel really comfortable sharing how I felt with him but I feel like I can't tell him anything anymore. He hates it, and then I get mad, and he gets mad because I'm mad. Nothing ever changes. There's so much more to this that I can't really explain. I feel like I can't be honest with him anymore, and I am not feeling as loved as I used to. I'm ready to leave, honestly. Someone please help me. Or give me some advice on how to evaluate to situation better. I don't want to be with someone I can't be honest with.

2 years ago

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