i dont feel any emotional connection to anyone. my family could be brutally murdered infront of me and i would just blink. i could even be the one doing it. family, friends, love interests- i just dont feel for them. sure i ACT like it but i truly honestly am just not emotionally there. call me cliche but i only stick with a person if theyre of use to me. dont want kids, dont want friends unless theyre minions, dont rlly want a lover except for physical needs. on the surface, thats it. i dont want to go into detail about all my twisted thoughts. even my religion, i can feel it slipping away. but, self-preservation which is entirely selfish is whats making me go "its better to be safe then sorry" and TRY and do what i need to do in my religion. there is no love there tho. why?

1 year ago

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