I don’t know what is happening and why I feel like this, I actually hate myself and not in a emo self deprecating way but in a angry and loathing why and I don’t know why. I’m trying to lose weight and when ever I lose a lot of weight over a short period of time like 3kg in a week I get so mad at myself because I can’t see any change and if I do it not big enough and I want to starve myself my hair falls out and I don’t know I hate it and I’m so angry why can I just be satisfied I keep losing weight which good but when I lose a lot of weight during a short period of time I lose my mind ,why and how am I getting skinner if I look the exact same why why why why. Why why why why Im losing my mind I want to eat everything just so that I can vomit and feel sick I think that will make me feel soooooo much better I feel guilty when I eat but I regret it some much I used think that I would binge whenever I feel overwhelmed over my weight but I would only eat an equivalent of 500-700 MAX calories but other people that binge eat eat over 2000 or 3000 calories so so do I have a binge eating disorder? I really really don’t think I have one , I’m starting to think maybe I’m a bit anorexic but I don’t starve my self I eat 800-1800 calories a day and also I’m literally fat so I’m pretty sure I’m not My problem is why am I so angry I literally lost weight why do I want to pull my teeth and hair out even tho I’m losing weight I can see changes but they are soo small that I don’t believe I’ve lost the weight I’m literally shivering with anger and anxiety what is fucking wrong I’m losing weight what is my problem it’s not like I’m gaining weight I’m LOSING it why and I feeling like this I should be happy but I feel so fat and ugly literally 2 days ago I felt so happy with my body now I’m grossed out and disappointed and angry

2 years ago

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