I just want to run away from everything and i'm confused im young but everyone especially my mom wants me to take care of everything but at the same i cant do anything because im a child im still in my childhood. i cant remember even half of it im 13 btw i know that i cant really be myself around anyone and i feel like a failure to life i dont even know the real me all the lies everyone tells me all the trauma. its just a lot on me and people dont see it at all i always look happy just to make sure everyone else is happy. no one actually checks up on me i mean they should at least be happy i didn't kms yet. there is a lot of things i wanna do but i cant even do anything because of this toxic household i live in i want to run away and i wish i could but i have a sister who i dont wanna leave behide because i know she will just go through everything i went through. even tho i know my dad i feel like hes not even here but he cares for his other kids. i dont want to die but i just wish all my problems could go away for a day. ive been bullied because of my size and i laugh it off but deep in side it really hurts. i dont even have any friends just sitting here locked up taking care of my mom and sister while im also dealing with my problems really is a lot im only a child i want to have a normal childhood like some people. i wish i didnt have early internet acess from a young age the things people can do and the things ive seen just terrible. i wish i could go back and actually parent myself. my mom is also homophobic so i cant come out of the closet. she blames everything on me and looks me straight in the eye and tells me lies. i cant tell her anything because she will just judge me. she talks behind people backs.it hurt me when people say "oh you act and look just like ur mother" no i dont want to be her i hate her but at the same time shes the only thing i have. whoever reads this thank you i hope you have a nice day and i know my spelling is not so great.

2 years ago

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