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I want to kill myself. I've thought about it nearly everyday since i was in middle school. I'm nearly 26 now for the sake of a time scale and during all of those years of being to about 13 different therapists and psychiatrists I can honestly say fuck therapy. Shit doesn't help for me. all its helped me do is explain better how im feeling to people who either don't know what to say or who just want put me on some drug. Just feels like im going from one fucked up thing to another, one disappointment to another and yet my fear of death has kept me from doing anything soo yippie. I dont know what im hoping for in writing this, but writing is typically one of the few things that kind helps soo here i am. im just tired of being surrounded by people and still feeling alone or being told to just get over it( like no shit sherlock why did i think of that.) id also like to apologize for the cussing but its 5:30 am and im in my head and haven't slept because my head is a shit show lol