im so sick and disgusting. i cut and have for over a decade. at this point the ~pain~ and even the ~punishment~ about it don’t even matter to me. i like the blood. i like bleeding. blood is gorgeous, it smells and tastes good. i like having to stop bleeding, i like being a bit afraid i’m bleeding too much. i also love the healing process. healing a cut is a really easy task to have, much easier than other responsibilities. carefully tending cuts that require a good amount of stitches feels like i’m doing something. i’m not gonna hurt myself bc everyone around me is sick of late night drunk hospital visits but i really wish i could
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