I have severe abandonment issues. When I was young, I had a friend that never left my side, and I never left hers. And she moved across the country. Then three years later I had another close friend. She moved too. Every friend group I've had since then has come and gone or been conditional or favored others over me. I haven't been chosen first by anyone since. I just want someone to choose me. Just once, choose me over everyone else. To not be part of the group I'm in but to truly pick me, want to be close with me. Maybe in a romantic way, maybe not. I just want someone to choose me over everyone else. Sometimes I feel like I am destined to be alone. Or that I am too weird or too unconventional to be wanted or chosen. But that feeling, that want. It has never gone away. I just want someone to choose me.
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