I had to get put on medication for my anxiety and depression. I havent been taking the medicine lately and i just forget sometimes...or ignore the alarm on my phone for it. I defenitly have been feeling the affects of not taking it though. I feel paranoid like I used to in 9th grade. Im in 10th btw. It feels like people are always watching me and my every move expecting me to be good at everything and if i mess up its all over. The depression part is different its like when something bad happens or multiple bad things happen to me at once I start to cry and it doesnt stop for awhile. Its not like im sobbing either its like I have a sad face and silent cry. It sucks even more because I hate when people see me cry and its uncontrollable. I would be sitting in biology last year and would just cry and wanna die just because a girl i knew did everything perfectly all the time. It was like she never did anything wrong. I was highly jealous. Even now that Im a little better I still am jealous of her but a lot less. Ive gained confidence mentally in myself believeing its okay to mess up and i am good at a lot of things. but back to the medicine. I am trying my best to stay on track. I love the feeling of not having a weight on your shoulders everyday and being able to breeze through life not taking things too seriously or freaking out at the slightest things. This year has trying become the best for me. Im in a good place for myself with my appearance, friends, and family. This sounds hella cheesy but I hope everyone like me feels okay to take medicine like me. I was scared in the beginning but have seen what a better life it has given me so far.

2 years ago

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