I can’t sleep. I cope in ways I shouldn’t I’m toxic Angry A mess I don’t know why I can’t find the motivation to fix it I’m so tired so done so over life and I’m a little less than 2 decades in I feel so alone So trapped So useless I’m embarrassing Annoying Awful There are ways I can fix it but I don’t think I deserve happiness So instead I block people out so I don’t hurt them or because I’m scared if they get to know the real me they’ll leave cause I’m a fycking mess So here I am at 4am on a random summer night wondering why I’m here What’s the point Why put all these people in the position to be around me cause I’m such a burden they don’t deserve that Im a pain in the ass A useless blob just waiting to die Because I know even tho want to I don’t have the motivation to move let alone try Everything is just so loud and Im in so much random pointless pain but I can’t stop it i want to but deep down I know I deserve all the pain and sadness that I get because I’m awful so I do nothing and just sit in it waiting to find some random temporary fix for the next few hours just to fall back into my hole my lonely sad dark hole where no one can dig me out and even if they did I wouldn’t leave cause I am awful and I deserve to be sad

1 year ago

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