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i literally cant take it any longer it feels like im going to explode like a fucking ticking time bomb everything hurts so fucking badly and i cant even explain it and for some reason i cant just cry and scream until it all goes away because i never had anyone that was emotionally there for me so all i know is to bottle shit up and never let it out even when im alone, im literally so scared of people finding out im actually severely depressed and not just "lmao mentally ill check" kind of shit. i seriously want to cut myself open and rip myself to shreds i cant even explain it it hurts so fucking badly and i cant take it any longer, i need help and no one is even willing to help me all i want is someone who actually loves and cares abt me ik i have ppl like that but they never think to actually check up on me, actually make sure im okay because nobody fucking cares. nobody ever will and thats that, my future is going to go to shit because i refuse to do anything to fix it lmao lol. ok ye