TW I have been seriously loving this dude for a couple weeks, but he has not even the slightest bit of feelings towards me, its gotten so bad that ive even started enjoying feeling terrible cuz it means im still in love with him, i was at a funeral today and i couldnt even pay attention cuz he was on my mind 24/7, we have been friends for a year and im terrified that im ruining our friendship, he already knows exactly how i feel for him, but its honestly destroying me entirely, it has ruined my eating schedule, sleep schedule, living schedule, everything, nothing brings me joy but talking to him, and despite him know how i feel for him he brings up other people that he likes and its making me so suicidal, there was a point where i am pretty sure i wouldve killed myself if it wasn't for the fact i was in a car at the time of it happening. I want to tell him all these things so god damn bad but i cant, i cant tell him how shitty he has made my life, he already is going through enough, oh that reminds me, i have been trying to get me to open up about why he has been feeling terrible but he just wont no matter what I do, but i discovered that talks to our mutual friend who is like 14 while he is 18(im 16) about his issues and idrk how to feel about that… i know i could give better advice and be a better listener than her but he wont fucking tell me anything and its driving me fucking insane. im honestly terrified by how this will end… i fear for my safety if i get things out of hand and become to obsessed in the future and cant handle it when he finally asks out the person he likes and they start dating, i fear for the people who are around us, i feel like im getting further snd further from everyone while they all get closer and closer with him, its gotten to the park now point where there is only person that i actually want to talk to about my issues but she is never online to talk i know i should be trying to move on but i dont want to, i want to keep loving him…

1 year ago

Hes a pedo

1 year ago