I’ve been in a lesbian relationship now for 17 years. I met a guy over 1000 miles away and fell in love. We ended up in a relationship. He’s married, I’m seriously partnered and a small part of me wants to run off for him. He confessed if I lived there he isn’t so sure how long he’d stick around and I secretly wish for that. She makes me jealous. She sounds terrible, emotionally abusive. I really care for him but am afraid he doesn’t really care for me. All of this has just made me realize how much the spark is gone in my relationship and I don’t think I’m in love with her anymore.