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sometimes I just think I'm crazy and it's like I can't think and sometimes I think I'm not meant for life like I'm too weak or stupid and can't do anything can't do good enough and can't make friends. I've been homeschooled most of my life but this year I'm gonna go to a real school so we'll see if I'm actually completely incapable or not. unless of course I end up not going like happens a lot with my mom who always says we're gonna do something but then half the time we don't do it and she doesn't even tell us until we're already in the midst of not doing it. It always feels like all I am to her is just someone who watches her kids but not in a second parent way nooo I don't even get that high privilege label I'm just one of her kids that she leaves the other kids alone with and I HATE watching them and they hate me and sometimes I want to hurt them and me like all those stories where the mom kills the kids and herself but I'm not gonna do that I'm not THAT upset but why does she do this it's like she doesn't want to be with them. well anyways I shouldn't complain cuz we're on vacation right now. I just saw this on an instagram ad thing I hope it doesn't email or call or stalk me cuz that would be embarrassing. anyways bye bye people reading this have a good life love you