I hate this place so much Each time my dad gets involved in fights or like not even bad fight with my brother and me i always end up fucking beat up I’m so tired of being hit and pushed around by a stubborn man child that doesn’t know when to fucking stop hurting his own children He’s 100% religious, homophobic, and doesn’t even believe i carry my own goddamn feelings inside of me. i remember there was a fight we had where i ended up on the geound, and all he could say was how much he fucking hated me and i couldn’t do anything but sob my brains out and beg him to stop he never listens to what i have to fucking say because i’m a kid or something he doesn’t want to listen to me because he thinks i’m some dumbass that doesn’t know what they’re doing when he does allt he things that he says i do. he calls me the worst things for the things he does. and i don’t know what to fucking do sometimes. i wanna protect my brother, i wanna talk to my s/o and i wanna feel supported. I want to use my own money and feel free to be sad or mad or whatever the fuck i’m feeling. I just wanna feel okay for once. I just want an apology, i just want i don’t even know anymore i just my hair’s falling out from al the pulling, my brother recently punched me square in the teeth and my dad continued to fucking hit me afterwards because he thought i was at fault. I hate how they team up I hate how i look and how i feel and how i just see everything. I don’t like anything and i just want someone to answer to me. I just wanna feel supported. I wanna feel okay until i’m old enough to get my own credit, my own support system a therapist, and to heal I just don’t wanna stay here but i can’t fucking leave and it hurts my brain It all really hurts and i i still love them and i don’t fucking know why my respect for my father has to be gone i want to hate him so bad, to call the goddamn cops but my mom loves him and i’m stuck in a place that i can mever escape because my mom only teams with him. I’m not okay i’m not i wanna know what’s wrong with me and i wanna go home. but at the samw time i don’t want any of that to happen. everything really hurts, man
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