Should I laugh or cry?...I should not blame others for my confused mentality, right? I feel so jealous when I see a kid is treated so lovingly by her dad....there is no hard boundary that they are bad to me or they are good to me. Have you ever seen any movie where a rich kids who's so lively and smiley as if he has no lack of anything in the world. Well my family is not that rich, we are middle class people. If someone wonders does really happen to anyone, yes. I m so relatable to it. My father, who doesn't so much affection to me, he sees me only as responsibility. He is always cold towards me. He only gives money, never asked anything, it's only my mom, who is over protective, No actually my whole family is overprotective, then they told me i am not capable of do anything....in my whole life, there is only one thing i missed so much, what's a father's love feels like? They say i m a grown up now, i should earn money and become independent, yes agree...as I said, they or this environment made my mentality so confusing....it's hard to explain everything here....i don't have any attraction for money, i m thankful to god that i m having a comfortable life, but every story, my story is too not perfect. What i hate most about my family is that, they gift me whatever they can, i feel happy but in exchange they want me to be obedient to them, i feel pressurized because they try to control me. recently father bought a car in my name, i am thankful, i may think father love me now....but that place is still empty....i feel emptiness. He is dominant, he thinks his thinkings are always the right. He takes sweetly or roughly whenever he wants. There happened a huge melodrama in our lives, after that he knew our broken relation, he talk smoothly as much he can....but after few months things are again same. I really feel jealous, the lovely relation between a father and daughter. I should stop waiting for that...what had been done can't be undone. I need to accept that. One day i hope i can go to my dream place and live with my mom. She and my elder sisters protected so much. My mom is worried what if she died early then, what will happen between me and father...... I am hopeful. But my mom, is giving mental pressure too much, i think all those years, as a housewife she too feel bound in this life.....

2 years ago

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