I am biologically male. Identify as male and Pansexual. Gender means very little to me when it comes to love and lust. My fiance, identifies as polyamorous and female. She has fallen in love with her best friend. To the point that she goes into a spiral depression. I deep, deep, dark and lonely place, when her best friend is not around. You can instantly see a change in her the moment she knows she has to return her friend to her home. I only with them to be happy. I have tried very hard to get her to realize that she would be happier with this woman instead of me. Instead she fights. Saying that her friend couldn't feel the same and that she also needs me. She never uses the word want when she refers to me. This has helped.me determine that I am not the same in her mind, as her best friend. Having spoken to her friend, she is very much in love with my fiance as well. I really want them to be happy together and have no issues with being the third wheel or even replaced. It's not that I don't care for her or the best friend. Honestly, I adore then both. They are hilarious and kind. Thoughtful most days and pleasant even on the days they are not. Am I weak for wanting them to stay with me and want to be with me too? Am I greedy? Probably. Thats why I want them to be together without me; at the very least, let me be off on my own. I've even offered to move the friend in and give them our room. And they take me up on it when the friend visits. I sleep on the floor or in my office. It's not like I'll leave or feel dejected. I just want them to be with whom they wish and be as happy as they can on this miserable mub ball we call a planet. Life is hard. Love should is no expecting. But when we can make things simple, we should.

2 years ago

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