i hate school.

im so stressed out. i have like 5 fucking booklets, a short story to finish, essay, presentation and i only have three days to do it all which would be okay if im actually fucking smart but im not at all. im retarded for fuck sakes. plus my adhd, anxiety and depression makes it way harder for me to do shit. i cant stop dissociating or zoning out. i constantly feel like everyone is watching me and it stressed me out all the time. i feel peer pressured and rushed continuously. my teachers say that im smart but they dont genuinely know me and they know for a fact im not they just lie to my face. i cant stop day dreaming or zoning out in class, it happens so much that i barely hear what anyone says to me anymore because of my goddamn adhd and it makes it worse that people make rude remarks about it or get mad at me. no one gets it. i wish that i could focus and get shit done but i legit cant. its already so fucking hard to even get out of bed in the mornings let alone do a shit ton of homework. why cant people just understand all of this? cant people just understand and realize that im dying slowly each day. i try to help people but i just get called fake its fucking bullshit man like no im not fake im going through the same goddamn shit than you are. it makes it even harder because i cannot stop having flash backs or getting triggered. theres pencil sharpeners everywhere and i cant stop thinking of when i cvt myself. school is just so stressful, controlling, difficult and it ruins so many peoples mental health. it shouldnt even fucking exist goddammit. ;