I eat a lot and then starve myself to the point where I’m exhausted every day and I can’t do this I’m conflicted. My mom actually is the main reason. I once outgrew a dress between the ages of 13 and 15 and lemme tell you this WOMAN RAGED that I grew she was like oh HOW COULD YOU HAVE GROWN 😡 😤 and then proceeded to fat shame me WHEN IM LITERALLY JUST A LITTLE FAT AROUND THE TUMMY. Like no it’s noT flat but I’m trying and it’s really hard and I can’t even eat any more and My mother is a narcissist sometimes I don’t even have proper bras to wear to work so I just wear sports bras I keep telling her I need some and outgrew my old ones and she keeps postponing and disregarding it. Up until recently I didn’t even have clothes to wear to work I showed her my closet and she was like all mad because I didn’t tell her earlier but I didn’t because every time I tell her something doesn’t fit or I’ve outgrown something or I need something she makes me feel like I’m somehow inconveniencing her. She says stuff like how could you have outgrown it and then makes me feel fat and then makes me feel like it’s my fault that I grew like a normal human being. Today we even went shopping on my one off day and then she didn’t even buy anything for me and only bought stuff for my sister and her and got mad at me when I just said I didn’t like this ugly dress for myself that she was trying to get me. Like I don’t need this ugly dress I need freaking undergarments. She also makes me feel bad if I eat cheese and hides all the snacks in the house so I can’t get any so that when I eat anything outside or buy any outside food I have to hide the wrappers and containers and then throw them out in public garbages so she doesn’t find out. My parents are putting me through mental torture. I’m sobbing someone please care about me.

1 year ago

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