I feel so left out of everyone’s life’s, even my own sometimes. It just feels like I’m the listener or the person everyone can vent to with my online friends and some of my irl friends just see me as a replacement for when someone else isn’t there and my “best friend” keeps referring to me as my dead name all because she doesn’t want to use my chosen name. It would make more sense if she wasn’t part of the LGBTQ+ community and was homophobic but no she’s a fucking lesbian so I thought she’d be more accepting of this than my own fucking teachers but no even they use my preferred name. It’s just so fucking annoying and makes me feel so goddamn dumb. I’ve tried to confront her about this but she came up with the “amazing” excuse for not using my preferred name because she doesn’t fucking want to. I’m on the verge of constantly misgendering her and using a different name for her just to let her see how it feels to basically get punch in the goddamn gut and shamed and laughed at for being yourself.

2 years ago

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