I feel like my mother isn’t listening to me. I feel like I’m talking to the abyss and no one can hear what I’m saying. Every time I talk to mom now she just gets upset with me somehow and we start arguing. I’ve been behind in some of my classes lately and I only have 8 days before I start high school, but I don’t even know if I’ll pass the 8th grade. I’m trying to fix everything so I don’t fail but my mom, she’s drilling it into my brain telling me that I need to get my grades up or I’ll fail. I know I probably won’t be able to make it, and every time she tells me I’m going to fail just makes me want to scream. I want to scream until my voice is gone- I just want her to understand, just ONCE, what I’m going through, but she won’t because she never fucking listens to me. It’s like nothing I say matters to her. I don’t want to be here anymore but I can’t do anything about it. I just want to see my blood spill everywhere but I can’t do it because I’m too scared. I’m to scared for not just me but everyone else. If something happens to me I take iff my mask and then everyone else will be upset and there are so many people that would k**l themselves if I died because I’ve dedicated my life to holding them together and trying to keep them from completely falling apart. I don’t know what to do anymore so many things are happening and there’s nothing I can do to fix it and I’m so angry and depressed and confused and hurt and I’m feeling so many things that it makes me sick to think about it

2 years ago

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